About my last render

[lionkingcmsl]

There are times, like this morning, that I feel there is more to life than working and just existing. Yes, I do do other things, but this daily grind is wearing thin.

Not that I want to be "entitled" to things, but I want my life to be more fulfilling, for lack of a better term. I want to be more creative, but even in those endeavors I hit a "brick wall" and feel "meh".

I don't know if my age has anything to do with it, or if it is job burnout.

I am also getting more and more cynical about the world. I hate being cynical, but maybe my "youthful optimism" has been stripped away. I do not feel as enthusiastic as I once did. I see the world as more as a "Me first! Get out of my way! I want it, now!" type of place. I used to have great hopes for the human species, but I now see it as a species that will destroy it self with greed, hatred and self-centrism. I very much hope I am wrong about that, but the more I look the more I see. God help the human race.

Comments

[skipai.livejournal.com]

And to think I reached that train of thought in my 20's. Which isn't good for me as I'm still young'ish, nearly at 40 but even so.

To be honest, if the human race wants to go extinct I'm not going to stand in it's way anymore.

[dhlawrence.livejournal.com]

Same here. 27 and I've already hit my midlife crisis.

[thefoxaroo.livejournal.com]

At age 40 I finally decided to live more by the carpe diem philosophy.

However, and it's getting worse all the time, I'm finding myself too short of money to do anything. It's getting more and more depressing because I seem to be working just to keep a roof over my head and not much more. Meanwhile I know an abundance of individuals who have never worked nearly so hard as I have and live far more luxurious lives. Plus there's my sister who hasn't worked in over a year because my mother can't bring herself to throw her out of the house.

[mooncat.livejournal.com]

I think the daily grind wears at us all. I'm certainly fed up with it, been fed up for years.

I've been a cynic for a good portion of my life, humanity has little in the way of redeeming qualities in my eyes. Some bright moments, occasional bursts of 'hey that person is cool' but otherwise, meh. We could blow ourselves up tomorrow and I really wouldn't care all that much, save for a brief disappointment that I wouldn't get to see what the world looked like after we offed ourselves. Ah well.