lionkingcmsl | For those that were wondering, ...

yes, I'm still here.

It's been nearly a week since my post about my birthday.

To those that replied, thanks. It did, and does, mean a loto to me. :=3

It's just as the years pass, I feel more and more that I have "wasted" my life in some way. :=/

Yes, I know, that I have friends, a job, down at the railroad, which I enjoy (for the most part), my health and, most of all, a understanding family.

There are times though that I sit back and look at my life and compare it with my father's when he was my age. Not a fair comparsion, I know. Things were different back in the 70's and 80's, but his life is the only standard I have to measure my life by. Would I enjoy the job he had, commuting a hour to work in heavy city traffic, sitting in some cubicle? most likely not. Would I enjoy a wife and family with a house of my own, though in a rural setting, not in a developement? Most likely ..., no, strike that, most definitely, yes.

I've turned 46 in the past week. Will my life change for the better? Will I find a mate? I am trying to change those things I can, but there is one being that rules over all and it is in HIS "hands" that I put my life.

HE has been there through the times when I needed HIM, even though, at the time, I didn't know HE was there. There were times that if HE wasn't there, or at least an agent of HIS, I would not be typing this right now.

So, I won't be dissappearing anytime soon, HIM willing. So in case I don't post anything for a bit, it's because I didn't feel the need to post anything.

Thanks again all. It is through you I gain strength.

To all, be well.